Al Gore Nobel Peace Prize

Al Gore's next crusade: in your bed

Al Gore, America's loopiest ex-vice president, is at it again. Not content with pocketing a fortune by scaring his fellow citizens with the imaginary boogeyman of "man-made climate change," the prophet of doom now wants everybody to save the planet by -- wait for it -- halting population growth.

You heard that right: To save mother Gaia, it's imperative that we kill ourselves as a species. Let a thousand flowers bloom, but be sure to have only one or two kids, lest you make "climate change" worse.

Ladies, this means you: "One of the things we could do about it is to change the technologies, to put out less of this pollution, to stabilize the population, and one of the principal ways of doing that is to empower and educate girls and women," Gore said in New York last week. "When that happens, then the population begins to stabilize and societies begin to make better choices and more balanced choices."

This from a guy who has the carbon footprint of Bigfoot: four kids, a jet-fueled lifestyle, a huge Nashville mansion that's four times the size of the average new American home and uses up 20 times as much electricity.

Hypocrisy, anybody?

Since he lost the whisker-close presidential election of 2000, Gore has turned into a combination of Jeremiah and Croesus, predicting doom while pocketing cash from such harebrained schemes as carbon credits and offsets, under which companies can pay for the right to emit carbon dioxide -- the gas we release every time we exhale.

But the marks have started to get wise: Congress has abandoned "climate-change" legislation, while the Chicago Climate Exchange, in which Gore was a major investor, finally ended its crackpot carbon-trading scheme last year.

So Gore's moved on -- straight back to the early 19th century of Thomas Malthus, who warned direly of the dangers of overpopulation and mass starvation, never foreseeing the dramatic improvements in agriculture that today allow a tiny percentage of the US population to feed the nation.

Liberals generally detest the notion of having the government in the bedroom -- except, apparently, when it's for "a good cause." Thus Gore embraces the notion that we can "stabilize" the population, as if people were animals to be bred according to fiat.

But there's no such thing as a "stable" population: A society that's not busy growing -- unleashing its vast creative energies in the process -- is busy dying.

Given the demands on the welfare state, a society that skews elderly will be unable to afford programs such as Medicare and Social Security, which effectively operate on a pay-as-you-go basis. Fewer kids means drastic cuts in benefits -- as Americans are about to find out.

Al Gore Trapped in Blizzard En Route to Climate Fundraiser - The ...

CHICAGO – Former Vice President and current global warming superstar, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. was trapped in his limousine on Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive Wednesday night for over six hours after the limo slid into a twelve foot snow bank. Although Mr. Gore did not receive any physical injuries, his driver said that Mr. Gore may have had a nervous breakdown. A spokesperson for the Gore Empire issued a statement this morning.

“Vice President Albert Gore, former U.S. Senator, Grammy and Academy Award winner and humbled recipient of the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize is resting comfortably at his new home in the esteemed Malibu Beach community of beautiful sunny southern California. He would like to express his heartfelt thanks to the tens of millions of devotees who’ve sent recycled cards wishing him a speedy recovery. He is well aware of the necessity of his presence in our deteriorating world, and he wants to let his disciples know that after a few months of rest aboard his new extra large sailboat, he will board his private jet and travel to far and distant lands to forecast that all humans will soon suffer unimaginable agony and despair in the ever advancing apocalypse of global warming. The Gore Estate will continue to accept large financial donations to help pay for his selfless and benevolent predictions of impending wretchedness and torment. So we beseech you to please continue to donate large sums of money! With enough cash Mr. Gore is confident that, through his unrelenting determination and struggle to combat global warming, he can almost guarantee that your children will not die before they reach the tenth, maybe even the eleventh grade!”